What’s the difference between a coach and a Sat Nav?
Quick answer? Not a lot!
In this blog post, you’re going to see how a coach is a lot like a sat nav, and how that could help you on your journey. Understanding if coaching is right for you is the best first step on this path. And you’re going to hear how Jane recalibrated and found herself on her personal Highway to Heaven.
Going on a journey - with a helpful voice nudging you along the best path.
You know how it is, you’ve a million and one things going on, you don’t have time for getting lost or ending up in the wrong place. So, when your friend invites you out for a cuppa, you get out the Sat Nav to make sure you take the most direct route; getting that hot coffee in your hands is what you need.
I’ve been there too. Let’s look at the time I got (oh-so-politely and incessantly) reminded to make a u-turn when I made a deviation from my route.
One Friday afternoon, I headed out to see a friend for a chat over a cuppa. To begin my journey, I jumped into the driver’s seat and I typed my destination into my maps app.
Now, my kids were going to join me on this trip so I was swinging by their school first. But I knew how to get there - the journey is etched on my brain after spending the last two years to-ing and fro-ing for the school run, twice a day, five days a week.
So the Sat Nav (or GPS for my American friends) is showing me how to get to my friend’s house. When I divert off track, to head to school, the polite lady tells me to make a u-turn. She shows me a new route. She constantly reminds me that I’m going in a different direction to the one I had told her I was going in.
Once I’ve collected the kids, the route is still there and as I follow the directions given to me, the route planner voice chills out and stops repeating “please make a u-turn” over and over.
Coaches are like the most sophisticated of Sat Navs. A coach isn’t as robotically repetitive as a satellite navigation device (although they should be just as polite), but they are there to keep your destination in mind.
Get clear on where you want to go
At the beginning of a coaching relationship, usually during the first two sessions, the coach helps the client to get clear on what they really want and what’s truly important to them. Where they want to go. The client then embarks on a journey towards that destination.
They can’t drive for you, but they encourage you to keep going even when the driving is difficult. A coach is very present during your journey, providing inspiration and motivation along the way, building and reinforcing your self-trust so that you know you can take the next best turns.
A client of mine, let’s call her Jane, told me how she valued having someone there to keep her true to herself and give her permission to explore a new path.
When Jane and I started working together, she was sad and frustrated. She felt trapped in her work as a GP (family doctor) and yet could not see how she would ever be happy in her work life again. It was just something she had to accept, because she had responsibilities to her patients, her family and everyone she had so diligently worked hard for over the previous 15 years. She was lost.
In our first session, we worked together to find Jane’s happy place. We talked of what lights her up (holidays with her children and husband, walks with her dog, working in a beautiful environment) and used some breathing tools to get her from a a place of stress and frenzy, to calm and clearer thinking.
I took Jane through a visualisation exercise, where she imagined her ideal future. What she saw surprised her. She was comfortable in her body. She felt free and spacious and knew she could be whatever she wanted to be, despite the unwanted opinions of others. She saw her future self as relaxed, light, full of vitality and taking fun, wild risks.
This was her destination. But she couldn’t see how she would ever get there. It was far away.
2. Reroute when there are roadblocks
So she plugged in her destination and she started driving.
Through careful questions, honest answers and commitment to take small steps, we moved forwards at Jane’s speed. Together, we found rest stops along the way. We broke that vision down into smaller, more tangible goals. Jane noticed she had beliefs about what she should be doing, that didn’t match up with what she truly wanted to be doing. She realised that she had more choices than she had previously thought.
The coaching journey involves looking for obstacles, and finding the way through, over or around them. Adjusting the route as you go, and holding you accountable to the plans you have defined.
Jane started questioning her everyday automatic thoughts that were stopping her trying new things. When she took a brave step in one direction, her loud negative inner voice told her she was selfish and ridiculous to be looking for alternative jobs. As her coach, I reminded her of the choices she made when she was calm, unafraid and connected to her true desires and values. Of the experiment she had designed for herself to let her explore this new path without judgment or fear.
3. Check and maintain your travelling conditions
As we continued on the journey, Jane noticed that this loud critical inner voice was telling her many more untruths. Like how her strengths - including kindness and honesty - weren’t valuable. She doubted herself and her value.
We challenged these thoughts together and Jane practised changing this automatic inside script. She put in the effort to accept where and who she was right now, to see her own unique power and everything she had to offer the world. She drew on people she trusted and routines she had already formed, to strengthen her work.
Just like the car we travel in, we can only move forwards once we accept that this is what we have, when we fuel and maintain it and when we take it out on the road and see what it can really do. From a place of self-acceptance and radical self-compassion, we can do more than we ever believe we can.
4. Taking in the changing scenery
Jane and I drove together for six months and we saw so many sights along the way.
Jane’s marriage became even stronger which helped her take brave steps to applying for new roles outside of GP job. She identified how she could leverage the strong support system she has within her family, to keep her accountable and fulfill the promises she makes to herself.
Jane developed new habits that give her daily adventures, fun and peace in her life. She explored a wider world of opportunity, and she met new people that were aligned with where she wanted to go. She worked at changing how she showed up for what she values in her life and began applying for new work opportunities.
5. Practice makes progress
Jane finished our sessions a happier, more determined, braver version of herself. She doesn’t need her sat nav for now. She’s on a clear path towards her final destination. She may want to plug back in and find direction from me, or someone else along the way. And that is what it is to be human. To know when you need that extra voice to guide you. And to trust that YOU are the one that drives.
Jane got to where she did because of her own knowledge, strength and motivation. As her coach, I had the privilege of drawing these parts of her out, to help her break down big mindset blocks and beliefs that were holding her back, and move along her route more efficiently.
A coach sits beside you while you set your destination and plan your journey. A coach nurtures and challenges you, to keep you alert and on the best route for you. You can trust that a coach is your companion on the journey you’re about to embark on.
I believe everyone should experience coaching at some time in their lives. We humans have challenging roads to travel, and we don’t have to do it alone.
If you are feeling lost, stuck and frustrated about your daily journey right now, I highly recommend working with a coach.
I’d love to chat to you and help you decide if coaching with me could be a great start. Book a free, no-pressure, no obligation chat with me and let’s begin.
